


Hamildresden, Track Seven: Dead Beat ("My Zombie T. Rex")

by Rob Nobody (RobNobody)



Series: Hamildresden [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Book 7: Dead Beat, Canon compliant-ish, Dinosaurs, Gen, Musicals, Necromancy, Retelling, Song Parody, Zombie Dinosaurs, Zombies, admit it this is the one you've been waiting for, both the book and the song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:48:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28839660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobNobody/pseuds/Rob%20Nobody
Summary: This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!Hey yo, we need somethin' undeadTen tons, scaly, and ruggedAnd this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!Part seven of my inexplicable quest to adapt a different song fromHamiltonfor every book ofThe Dresden Files.
Series: Hamildresden [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912114
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Hamildresden, Track Seven: Dead Beat ("My Zombie T. Rex")

**Author's Note:**

> To the tune of "[My Shot](https://genius.com/Lin-manuel-miranda-anthony-ramos-daveed-diggs-okieriete-onaodowan-leslie-odom-jr-and-original-broadway-cast-of-hamilton-my-shot-lyrics)." Try it out with the [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNwAR1phXq0)!

[HARRY]  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
I'ma fightin' zombie shit in Chicago  
Amassed, they shambled in, to win, they cascade from the shadows  
Their masters, they have got a lot of shades they will swallow  
They got a calling, they want to ascend  
Their ultimate end: the Darkhallow!  
'Member Kemmler long ago, you killed him seven times  
Tryin' to stop his crimes? His powers in life, causin' strife 'n all  
His grim deeds served to make him stronger  
His Second World War deeds were bonkers, he conquered  
Ev'ry Warden, ev'ry wizard challenge  
He caused too much damage, he was just a touch unbalanced  
He ran on pure malice  
His plan was to fan a spark into a flame  
But damn, it's getting dark, so let me tell you his game  
It is spelled--

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
D-A-R-K-H-A-L  
L-O--hello--listen well…

[HARRY]  
A liturgy to raise him tremendously  
In which Kemmler gains tenure exponentially  
Essentially, if pulled off successfully  
Then Kemmler becomes a basic deity  
But he never got to start his machinery  
Cuz you all nailed his execution the last century  
Enter three!

[LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
(He says so dramatically)

[HARRY]  
So his heirs found this little book with the key  
They'll take thousands of lives that is guaranteed  
Because, you see, they want their ascendancy

[HARRY & _BUTTERS_ ]  
And this is my zombie T. rex  
Named Sue ( _Named Sue_ )  
And this is my zombie T. rex  
Named Sue ( _Named Sue_ )  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
 _And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!_

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
It's time to ride on Sue!

[LUCCIO]  
Oh Dresden, this is an atrocity  
The undead are always a monstrosity  
Trust it's a, how you say, how you say, 'travesty?'  
Yet I find I can't ignore the sheer majesty  
Of this--

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
Sue!

[RAMIREZ]  
Yo, I'm precise like a surgeon  
And I tell y'all certainly I am not a virgin  
I joined up with the Wardens 'cause I know I can fight  
To actu'lly make things right, I'll accept your invite!  
I'm gonna ride on--

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
Sue!

[BUTTERS]  
And for her to stay on her feet  
You needed a drummer who could maintain her fake heartbeat  
Sue and I. Do or die. Me in my polka suit  
In hot pursuit, is someone gonna prosecute?  
Hope nobody

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
Sues!

[MORGAN]  
Dresden, just lower your weapon  
You raise up that horror and you roar your confession?  
I knew it, knew you'd unavoidably turn  
A lesson you still have to learn:  
Break the Law, you're gonna get burned!

[HARRY]  
Don, check what we got  
See the Corpsetaker, jumps bods, a new façade  
You know his Cowl is odd  
Grevane, he's got this whole squad  
They're hatchin' plots darker than the moment before the dawn  
Wannabe gods these frauds have popped a squat on the lawn  
Blockin' our brawn with impassable magic, need I go on?  
A bunch of old reanimating necromantic over-dramatists?  
Got me a Cretacean, I'll be where the altercation is!

Cuz see that spiralin' cloud?  
We gotta get into its center, to send the deal south  
A necromantic field is blockin' it  
And so we need a necro shroud

[BUTTERS]  
And zombie dinos would be allowed!

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS/ENSEMBLE]  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!

This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!

[BUTTERS & _HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ_ ]  
Ev'rybody sing:  
Whoa, whoa, whoa ( _whoa, whoa, whoa_ )  
Hey!  
Whoa ( _Whoa_ )  
Woo!  
Whoa ( _Whoa_ )  
Said let 'em hear ya! ( _Yea_ )  
Let's go!

[BUTTERS & _COMPANY_ )  
 _Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!_  
I said shout it to the rooftops!  
 _Whoa!_  
Said, to the rooftops!  
 _Whoa!_  
Come on!  
 _Yea!_  
Come on, let's go!

[BUTTERS]  
Fight on!  
After sixty million years, you fight on  
Tell the dino that she's gonna fight on  
Tell the warlocks that we're gonna fight on

[BUTTERS AND ENSEMBLE & _COMPANY_ ]  
When's that clawed therapod gonna fight on?  
 _Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!_  
When's that clawed therapod gonna fight on?  
 _Whoa!_  
When's that clawed therapod gonna fight on?  
 _Whoa!_  
When's that clawed therapod gonna fight on?  
 _Whoa!_  
Fight on! ( _Fight on!_ )

[HARRY]  
I've escaped my death so much it's almost like a prophecy  
How's it gonna get me?  
On the street? Some old creep sneaks up on me?  
I don't see it comin', am I done or is there more to see?  
Is it just conceit and there's no plan to be?  
See, I never shoulda lived 'til twenty  
And in my life I've been near-killed plenty  
Ask anytime 'bout why I'm livin' still I'll be thrilled: mention my will  
I built up my defensive skills, so many

Flip that  
This is not a defense, it's an offense  
Where all our hardiest Wardens are  
Ready to throw hands  
Ghosts oppose though, they disincorporate  
We roll like Frodo, slippin' through Mordor's gate  
And? If we pass their undead masses?  
That's not a guarantee we'll beat the real headmasters  
There'll still be blood to shed before the massive  
Circle collapses and here meets the hereafter  
I know the action in this park's gratifyin'  
But hell's bells, remember that dark magic flyin'  
Is a stark tragic buy-in  
They need to finish their dark ritual incantation  
And their new nation of death? Means the death of our nation  
Now that's ample explainin'  
We're absolutely smashin' up this desecration  
For our magic's an act of creation!  
We're trashin' all their plans for travesty and sorrow  
Fight tonight then, or it's our last tomorrow!

[HARRY/COMPANY]  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
This is my zombie T. rex named Sue!  
Hey yo, we need somethin' undead  
Ten tons, scaly, and rugged  
And this is my zombie T. rex named Sue!

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS & _ENSEMBLE_ ]  
She's gonna fight on! Time to ride on Sue!  
 _My zombie T. Rex named Sue_  
She's gonna fight on! Time to ride on Sue!  
 _My zombie T. Rex named Sue_  
She's gonna  
 _She's gonna_

[HARRY & _ENSEMBLE_ ]  
Time to ride on Sue! ( _Fight on_ )

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS _ENSEMBLE_ ]  
Time to ride on Sue! ( _Fight on_ )  
Time to ride on Sue! ( _Fight on_ )  
Ride on Sue! Ri— ri— ri—  
Sue!  
Sue!  
A-yo it's  
Time to ride on Sue! ( _Time to ride on Sue!_ )  
Time to ride on Sue! ( _Time to ride on Sue!_ )  
And this is— ( _And this is_ )

[HARRY/LUCCIO/RAMIREZ/BUTTERS]  
My zombie T. rex—

[COMPANY]  
My zombie T. rex named Sue!

**Author's Note:**

> "Got me a Cretacean, I'll be where the altercation is!"
> 
> This is it. The best thing I ever have and ever will write. It's all downhill from here.


End file.
